And when we relax the muscles, we calm the nervous system. As illustrated before, a well-regulated nervous system helps us to make better decisions, to respond in a more level-headed way, to have better relationships – with your body, yourself and others, i.e. in particular with your child/children, and this will also support their well-being. What’s more, if working on saving your marriage is still an option or you are keen to establish a good relationship with your former partner, TRE – developed by David Berceli, PhD – could be a possibility you might want to consider as it is often employed as a mediation tool to foster healing and reconciliation. Once you’ve learned TRE safely, it’s your tool for life and you can practise with your child/children, which is a great opportunity to co-regulate and to bond. These loving and nurturing connections on top of honest and age-appropriate conversations with your child/ children where you reassure them of your love and support can strengthen your relationship with them. By acknowledging the physical effects of emotional stress, we can help clients make more grounded decisions and navigate the process with as much clarity – and dignity – as possible. As lawyers, we recommend the following: • Get organised early – start gathering paperwork you may need in respect of your financial assets. Being prepared can reduce anxiety and keep legal costs down. • Seek therapeutic or emotional support early alongside legal advice – such as therapists, divorce coaches and support groups. • Use mediation or collaborative processes to minimise conflict – or other forms of NCDR (non- court dispute resolution) such as arbitration • Recognising the importance of self-care during what can be an emotionally demanding period – limit contact with your former partner if conversations are stressful, maintain your normal routine where possible and avoid major decisions. • Focus on what you can control – you can’t control someone else’s behaviour, but you can control your own response, your own wellbeing and how you communicate. • Be prepared – attend the court in advance of any hearing so you can familiarise yourself and feel confident on the day.
Final Thoughts
Separation is not just a legal process – it’s a life transition. By taking proactive steps and surrounding yourself with the right support, you can reduce stress and move forward with more clarity, dignity, and strength.
Healing the pain and heartbreak of separation and divorce is a gradual process and can take time, often longer than expected. However when implementing supportive strategies – for mind, body and your legal affairs – you and your child/children can navigate this transition with resilience and hope for the future. After all – there’s light at the end of the tunnel as healing is most certainly possible and ultimately post- traumatic growth can occur.
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Hodge Jones & Allen Solicitors | Separation Support
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