help with some of the forms (although they do not provide legal advice) and can be by your side from start to finish. Some people benefit from guidance early on when the separation is very raw but others wait until they have started the divorce, obtained legal advice and then seek help from a coach alongside a divorce lawyer. Legal – once you feel ready to take the next step you can contact a solicitor (or lawyer, whichever term you want to use – we don’t mind which). A solicitor will guide you through the divorce or they can simply give you advice at the outset so that you can try to do it yourself (and provide help as and when you need it). Early advice is essential even if your separation is amicable to understand your rights, responsibilities and the various options. You will be advised about the different routes you can take such as mediation, arbitration, lawyer negotiations or the DIY route and can put you in touch with recommended mediators. Divorce may have an impact on your immigration status and so you should speak with an immigration lawyer before issuing a divorce application to assess whether it will affect your visa. You can speak to your lawyer about the practical next steps to take in terms of living arrangements, contact arrangements for any children and interim financial assistance. Financial – it would be beneficial to speak with a financial advisor or accountant, especially if you have a business or complicated assets. Your accountant may be able to help with valuations and tax calculations and a financial advisor can help with mortgage capacities, budgets and to assess your finances post-divorce.
How can I protect myself emotionally? Prioritise your emotional well-being:
Seek support from friends and family – you may need to lean on them during this time for emotional support but be wary about taking legal advice from friends and family. Speak with a therapist or counsellor – in addition to, or as an alternative to friends and family you may benefit from professional support to help you manage the emotional side of a separation. If you have children they may also benefit from a child psychologist or counsellor during the transition. Join a support group – your therapist or counsellor may have connections in your local area or you may find one on social media. Separation can bring up feelings of grief, loss, rejection, abandonment, anxiety about the future and so much more. These emotions are not ‘just’ in the mind, they are in the body, too and can manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, sleep disturbances and changes in appetite etc. Children can also experience a range of emotions from confusion and guilt to anger and sadness, which can lead to changes in behaviour or withdrawal. In short, the pain of separation is not ‘just’ emotional heartbreak or legal procedures, it’s also a physiological experience. And this is where the mind-body connection comes in. What is the link between emotional stress and physical symptoms experienced during a separation / Have you ever heard the phrase ‘The body keeps the score’ and wondered what it really means? You might have experienced it yourself: When you feel the heaviness of a situation on your shoulders, you struggle with shoulder or back pain. Or you experience digestive issues before an important event that makes you uncomfortable or anxious, such as court proceedings.
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Hodge Jones & Allen Solicitors | Separation Support
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